mama obama

Although I am a huge fan of Obama’s style of leadership, respect and open-mindedness, I have to admit something. The one I’m secretly obsessed with is his wife. I mean, c’mon folks… look at her! And look at them. Are they not the cutest couple in the world? Watch the way they interact and talk about each other and compare that to John and Cindy McCain. Ms. McCain looks like she just stepped off the store front of Ann Taylor and is using her arms for the first time when waving to a crowd. She seems lifeless and devoid of personality and opinion; that is when she’s not calling this campaign the dirtiest campaign ever. 

Hey Cindy- don’t you remember when your husband tried running for President in 2000 and George Bush’s team spread rumors that your adopted child was actually half-black and born out of an affair? Please tell me how this campaign is dirtier than that. 

Anyway, Cindy McCain is the antithesis of who Obama is trying to represent: the working person and middle class. She’s had a business and millions handed to her, she has more houses and cars than she knows what to do with, and she slings around words without understanding what she’s saying. She recently said that Obama voting against funding our troops put a shiver down her spine and with her having two kids in the military, she would love for Obama to walk in her shoes and then see about his decision. 

(Good thing it wasn’t her husband who voted to put them there in the first place… oh wait…). When reading an article about this, people were making comments like “I’d love to walk in her shoes too! I can’t even imagine how many she owns.” And didn’t she start fooling around with McCain while he was still married, leaving his other wife for her? I’m just saying. 

Now compare her with Michelle Obama. A woman who also came from little means and worked as hard as she could to get in the best schools possible. A woman who is extremely intelligent, who repeatedly says she’s Barack’s biggest critic and tells him when he needs to get in shape, who puts her role as a mother as top priority, and has the best fashion sense of a first lady since Jackie O. She really is the second-coming of Jackie O. But to be honest, and this may be a generational difference, I think she’s way hotter. Not only is she physically beautiful, but her ability to speak her mind, her balance of fairness and kindness, and her perseverance to make the most of her life is so attractive.

When I see Barack and Michelle interact, I truly believe they love each other. Not in a “this is my trophy wife” kind of way, but as a true partnership… exactly what marriage should be. They are each other’s central support system and their fist pounds are adorable.

My only criticism of my secret lover is that I know she’s biting her tongue at times and I wish she would let the guard down every now and then. But if you asked me if I preferred my fiancee taking the high road and talking about how she respects the McCains versus making lines about John McCain not caring about her daughters because he voted against alternative energy spending? 

I think Sarah Palin would join me in saying “you betcha.”

Yelp Elite (!!!)

Check out the email I received this evening:

Subject: You Clearly Rock Jared

“And…those fingers of yours write some super detailed, funny, tip givin’ and informative reviews! Seriously, your reviews have been some of the best we’ve read from the Bay area and that’s why we come to your inbox today, to make ya an offer ya can’t refuse. Well we guess you can, but where’s the fun in that!! So here goes…

We’d officially like to invite you to join the Yelp SF(Bay area) Elite Squad!

*insert crowd roar here*”

This has been my goal since May. See kids, if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

YELP ME: http://hapfrap57.yelp.com

How American Idol Helped Sarah Palin

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why we want a President and Vice-President who are ”just like us” and how this criteria is acceptable in our culture. Sure, it’s great to have someone to whom we can relate. Although I’m not the #1 Obama fan in the world, his story is compelling and relatable: someone who’s bi-racial, doesn’t really know his father, grows up with the support of his grandparents in Hawaii. He’s not your average, rich white kid from the east coast. He is more representative of my generation than any Presidential nominee before. His identity and history falls somewhere in the middle, just like many of us do now (and have in the past). It makes me want to listen and hear what he has to say.

But if Obama was dumb as shit, I could give a rat’s ass if his story sounded inspiring. Sure, he’d make a great role model, someone to help me reach my own potential and realize I can make my dreams happen too. But luckily, he does have the experience of being either a state representative or senator for the past 12 years; plus… dare I say it… his years as a community organizor. His speeches are insightful, his rhetoric is inspiring, he has gotten the youth excited for the first time in my lifetime, and if you can count the way he’s run his campaign as a measure of success, I feel pretty confident in his ability to work with a large organization that is greater than himself.

But I don’t want to talk about Obama. I want to talk about my arch-nemesis, Sarah Palin, and why her popularity is directly correlated to the success of American Idol, America’s Next Top Model, and other reality competition shows.

In this new era of television that began in 1999/2000 with Survivor and Temptation Island, two competitions simultaneously occur during each reality show that comes our way. There is Competition #1, the competition that is the purpose of the show. Eating dead worms, posing for Nigel Barker on a sandy lagoon, losing 15lbs by the next weigh-in, and getting Japanese people to draw a mustache on your face with a Sharpie marker. These are the plots that drive the shows and are used to differentiate one from another.

But Competition #2 is often more powerful than the purpose of the show; this is the race to see with whom America will fall in love with the most. We love stories we can relate to: the person who lost a parent and is competing in their memory; the person who had a skin disease that cleared up only recently and inspired them to model; the person who is on welfare while supporting a child and has the voice of ten Ella Fitzgeralds put together; the person who acquired AIDS but hides the disease so he isn’t treated differently by his cast-mates. These stories are what end up selling the show, and many times, choosing a winner.

We are a country founded, created and surving by underdogs. We are annoyed when someone, who thinks they deserve what they want, gets it. We want to see people work hard, make sacrafices and overcome obstacles. We want to know they are not robots and have feelings. We want them to represent obscure towns in obscure states. We want them to be just like your neighbor, brother, sister, niece or nephew, teacher or partner.

And this mentality for reality television, this concept that the winner doesn’t have to be the best at the competition as long as they win our hearts, is exactly why Sarah Palin is still in this race. We can no longer discern between celebrities: reality tv stars, Hollywood actors and politicians. All are being held by the same principles as reality television characters. It doesn’t matter if the person sincerely is the most qualified for the job; what matters is if you can relate to them as a contestant/applicant/leader.

Soon as we start focusing on Competition #1 again, people will realize Sarah Palin is not cut out for the job. If you received the job description for the Vice President and 2 resumes without names,  I’m pretty sure most people would choose Biden. But Sarah Palin is purposely representing every “hockey mom” and “kid with special needs” to get those votes for people who stay tuned from Tuesday night to Wednesday to see if their favorite contestant was kicked off American Idol.

Sarah Palin is the Sanjaya of American politics and it’s time for her to go.

my unequivocal disdain for sarah palin

This election has clearly turned into one where people no longer care for substance. My evidence? The selection and support of Governor Sarah Palin.

People– are you even LISTENING when she speaks? She talks in circles, she completely disregards questions she doesn’t understand and brings them back to topics that she has limited information on in the first place, and she is trying to sucker people in by using honky colloquialisms in her over-pronounced Alaskan accent that sounds even more folksy than it did at the RNC.

I won’t even begin to start on my rant about her “community organizer” statement from last month. I’ve never been more infuriated by a politician’s comment in my life. I will mention that I am more annoyed with Americans and their positive response to Sarah Palin by saying things like “she seems real” and “she tells me straight up.”

1) How are Joe Biden or Obama not “real” and not “telling you things straight up?”

2) Does the VP give weekly reports to the American people about the state of the country? Is this person running for Miss Congeniality? And how does one candidate seem real and the other doesn’t? Joe Biden comes from a similar background and made more of a success out of tragedy in his life. What’s more real about her?

The role of the Vice President is to preside over the Senate and take the place of President in case anything happens to that person. Lets be honest: I don’t want the President or VP to be “just like me.” I want them to be smarter and more saavy when it comes to the workings of our economy and our place in the global marketplace. I want these people to be persons I can look up to so I can improve my life, not someone who I see as an equal. You are the fucking President of the United States of the America, not Homecoming King in high school. You NEED to be better than I am. Otherwise, why am I not running this country?

Furthermore, I have no clue where this whole concept of Obama being an elitist came from. Is it because he went to Columbia and Harvard? I’m willing to bet 75% or more of our Presidents went to Ivy League schools, and our current one is the benefactor of years of privilege and elitism. Is it because he speaks intelligently? God forbid someone actually doesn’t dumb down everything for us. Is it because he was top of his class at Harvard, where John McCain was in the lowest 99% of his graduating class and Sarah Palin went to 6 colleges and changed schools for erratic reasons? Why is it bad to be someone who worked hard to get where they are despite being a minority in a country that believes you only succeeded because of affirmative action?

Someone please tell me how Obama is an elitist? Is it the whole owning one car and one house things versus not knowing how many you own? Is it growing up in a single-family biracial home with 2 strikes against you before you even worry about dealing with everyday matters? Is it not being old enough to be in war and having 2 young daughters who clearly couldn’t have enlisted yet? Is it having a wife who (dare I say) speak her mind and not be a lame-duck trophy First Wife?

Anyway- back to Sarah Palin. She is crazy. But I’m more saddened by the people who believe in her. That’s fine if you relate to her and think she’s awesome. She would probably make a good friend or role model for you. But give me CONCRETE EXAMPLES on how that makes her qualified to be the Vice President of our country. Don’t believe in her because you say “she’s re-energized our party.” How? Making snide remarks and ridiculing the democratic process at the RNC? That hardly counts.

I’ve always said if that you can defend your answers with examples, I will leave you alone. If you can say to me “I believe in her economic policy (whatever that may be), or her stance on gay marraige or her philosophy on drilling in the Artic Refuge”… then I will shut up. But don’t say you like her because she seems real.

Need I remind you George W. Bush ran on the notion of being real and telling us things straight up. And see what happened when we went for flavor over substance? Please don’t let it happen again.